Woke up this morning to a baby soaking wet with spit up and poop overflowing out of her diaper. It broke my heart that she was in this condition, she didn't seem to mind it as much. With my eyes barely open and my back stiff and painful from hurting it the day before, I fed and bathed her and started my day. She is 7 months old and has not slept through the night just yet, which is not a big deal. But I am feeling the repercussions. Now that she is just waking up once, it seems I'm more tired. I try to take naps but lay there unable to stop my mind from going through lists, ideas, to-dos, and worrying. The littlest thing sets me off, especially if it's something my husband says. He won't mean anything by it, I seem to take everything personally and the wrong way.
So spending time writing in my journal and with Jesus is not just a priority but a necessity. I'm so glad it is this way, because although I'm beat sometimes, I experience so much life and fullness in the midst of everything. Don't get me wrong--I love being a mother, I love my husband with everything--I'm just being real that it's difficult and challenging and not very glamorous. I know all you moms out there get me. Anyways, back to spending time with Jesus...this morning I was brooding. So I came to the Lord asking for help and He was so good to answer. I opened up to Psalm 118, it was just floating in my mind, I wasn't sure what it said, "Thank God because he's good, because His love never quits. Tell the world His love never quits.." Okay, that's good. I thought to myself. Let me just soak in that for a moment. Then 2 Thessalonians stuck out to me so I went there, "Our God gives you everything you need! Makes you everything you're to be! You need to know, that thanking God over and over again is not only a pleasure but a must." Ah-ha..Thanking God is the secret to getting out of this Pity Party I was having. So I began to write what I was thankful for..I was sort of angry at my husband and having all of these accusing thoughts in my head, which I was realizing was not right or true. I ended up writing over a page of how I was thankful for him. I can't wait to share it with him. And it totally brought me out of that negative, brooding funk. As I lifted my thanks to God, the pleasing aroma pushed the gray clouds out of the way. I kept reading 2 Thessalonians 1, "You're so steady and determined in your faith despite your hard times that have come down on you..All this trouble is a clear sign that God has decided to make you fit for the Kingdom." As I read over it again, I realized Paul was admonishing the church at Thessalonians for being so awesome. Although I wasn't feeling so awesome, the Lord used to show me how to be awesome--to be thankful.
I know there are a lot of run-down, run-dry moms and friends out there and I thought this may encourage you as it did me to get out of the funk, get filled up, and see the reality--God is good, His love never quits, and there is always something to be thankful about. Much Love~
