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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Passion

I read something this morning that i hadn't really hadn't noticed before. It's in Ephesians 1, it reads, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart would be enlightened and then you would know the hope to which you are called.." And I know that it could mean, and probably does mean, several things. But one thing I think it relates to here is Passion. Ben is always talking about how important your passion is. He loves jiu jitsu and surfing. He gets so sad when he isn't able to do either for a season. Especially Jiu Jitsu. We are different in how we need our passions or how we respond to them. He thinks about his quite often. I forget about mine, but notice when I actually do make time for them I'm so much happier and more myself. Dance is definitely my passion, but I think it has gone to a new level..I just noticed really.

I love dance so much, I think dance, without really trying to think about it. And I think about it the most when I'm trying to go to sleep, or when I am spending time soaking with the Lord. And I dance mostly when I encounter the Lord. This all just dawned on me. I was sitting here, listening to worship, and I imagine myself dancing, without trying to. It is such an expression of my heart. I can't not dance during worship times. It just has to come out. I was really nervous to dance at church for the longest time. It would burn inside of me, but those voices kept me from doing it. Voices of insecurity. And those voices of judgement. And whatifs. One day I just did it. And i haven't really been able to stop. It's like when you kiss the one you love for the first time, and then after that you just want to kiss them all of the time. Every time you have a moment of awe about that person, you want to kiss them. Dancing for me is like kissing God.

I think passions start out as desires with a purpose, they bring us out of our shell and help us to become who we are destined to be...and then we become them. We just do them without thinking about it, it becomes natural. Is this making any sense?